


I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you

by lavenderlotion



Series: all of you, loves all of me [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Discussions of Surgery, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Trans Allison Argent, Trans Female Character, promise rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 00:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “Is it something you...want?”“I’m not sure.”





	I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.

“Is it something you...want?” Stiles asked quietly, playing with his fingers. Allison watched, noting how he was picking at his cuticle before she reached over and snagged his hands with her own. They were sitting crossed legged on Stiles’ bed, facing each other and barely dressed. They’d already showered for bed, but then Stiles had asked how her appointment had gone. 

It had been thought-provoking, if nothing else. She had been a bit surprised to find an endocrinologist in a town as small as Beacon Hills, but her dad had set up an appointment for her without her even needing to ask him. It was just a regular checkup to make sure her blood levels were still good and that her hormones were all balanced, but she’d brought up surgery for the first time. 

It had been a little awkward, considering she’s forced her dad into the room with her and she’d never spoken to this lady before. Her dad hadn’t minded being in there, and it made her feel safer having him with her for the conversation. She had known some things, the basics, but she hadn’t  _ really _ known what her options were and weren’t until now. 

The whole drive home had been spent with her thinking. When she’d asked her dad if she could spend the night with Stiles, she really hadn’t been expecting anything other than the usual raised brow that was as good as a no. But, to her surprise—and delight—he’d said yes and had requested nothing more than getting a good night text from her. 

They’d had a lovely night together, eating a dinner they made together, bumping hips in Stiles’ little kitchen as they danced along with the radio. A movie was watched as they cuddled up on the couch and talked quietly, conversation flowing even easier than it ever had after eight months together. Then they had shared a  _ very _ hot shower that had been  _ very _ fun, and now Stiles was finally asking her about her appointment. 

“I’m not sure,” she admitted, looking into his eyes. They were such a warm brown, so safe and inviting, and she focused on the gold flecks that were scattered about her iris as she ignored how vulnerable she felt. “I’m not...it doesn’t bother me. Having it doesn’t bother me. I don’t care that I have a penis, not really. Not when I think about it. And when I think about myself in the future I...don’t know if I see myself having a vagina. I don’t know if I see myself having  _ sex _ as someone with a vagina...at least not anytime soon.”

Stiles nodded and hummed thoughtfully. She liked that he wasn’t saying anything right away, that he was clearly thinking over what she’d answered with. “Yeah, that makes sense. It’s really...it seems really invasive. Kind of scary too, if I’m being really honest. That would be a lot to go through.”

“Yeah, exactly! Like the doctor pointed out to me, if it isn’t bothering me, is there really a need to get it? A lot of trans people never get any surgery at all and are totally happy!” Which wasn’t something she’d ever really considered before. Surgery, for her, had always seemed like the last step of her transition. Something that was bound to happen one day because it was  _ supposed to happen, _ but now...now she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t need to have a vagina just to be a woman—she already was one!

Stiles tugged at her hands, and she looked up at him with a frown. He was staring at her intently, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Can I be like, really honest?” he asked, and her stomach dropped. She had talked to guys before who hadn’t wanted anything to do with her when they found out she was pre-op (and that was putting things as politely as possible, considering some of the things she’d been told). Obviously Stiles wasn’t going to do that, seeing as he’d  _ just _ had her dick down his throat, like, twenty minutes ago but...Allison wasn’t sure what she would do if he said something awful. 

“Okay,” she said quietly, not looking away from his face but staring at his eyebrows instead of into his eyes. She wasn’t sure if she could look at him so intimately, just in case. 

Stiles took a deep breath, squeezed her hands, and then said, “I like your dick. I kind of  _ love _ you dick, actually. Ally, I think you’re super hot as you are. We have awesome sex that keeps getting better and better. And it’s not some weird fetish thing, I promise you. You’re a girl, you’re my girlfriend and I would never think of you any other way, it’s...I love you,” he whispered the last bit, so quietly that Allison almost didn’t catch it over the way her heart kicked into overdrive. “I love you,” he said again, louder. He stared into her eyes with a smile that made her heart flutter. “And I’ll love you no matter what you do. I only want you to do this if it’s the right thing for you. And if that’s not now, but it is in ten years, do it then! Cause I’m...I know we’re young, but I’m gonna be here. If you’ll have me, Ally, I’m always going to be here. Stilinski’s mate for life.”

“Stiles, if you pull out a ring I’ll cry,” Allison warned and was glad that Stiles didn’t point out that she already  _ was  _ crying. 

He pulled one of his hands away to scratch the back of his neck, dropping his eyes with a blush. “Uhm, it’s only a promise ring, and I wasn’t going to give it to you until our one year? You don’t have to accept it if you don’t want to, really. I’ll be okay if you don’t want it, uh, if you don’t want to make that type of promise because like I said, we’re young and--”

Allison laughed wetly, launching herself at him and hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his chest and let him rub her back until she’d stopped crying. When she pulled back, she moved to straddle his waist and touched his jaw lightly, pulling him up into a kiss that went on and on, their mouths moving together sweetly. Heat was stirring in her belly and her heart was racing, and moaned she when his hands groped her ass. 

“I love you too, Sti, god I love you too. Give me the ring! Give me the ring,” Allison breathed against his mouth, smiling and laughing giddily even as she tried to kiss him again, her heart soaring. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you can’t tell by the soft trans fics, last night was really shitty. i had a really upsetting conversation with a coworker i considered a friend, and i just really needed something soft to comfort myself.
> 
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!   
> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
